In response to the Daily Post’s prompt Third Rate Romance
For a woman who is quite comfortable being single–and who is more likely than not to stay single for long periods of time–I sure seem to have more than my share of dating disaster stories! In fact, I may have to make a little series out of this prompt…
He and I decided this weekend to back up a bit on the “relationship” aspect of us (seeing as we have different views on what constitutes dating versus a relationship anyhow, this is probably a good idea). It takes him longer than it does me to determine how he feels/what he wants, and that lack of consensus has been stressful for us both. Whereas I’m happy just to be with him and live more in the present, he thinks more in terms of the future when asked how he feels, what he wants, or what makes him happy.
As I’ve previously written, my fear of failure has caused me to avoid trying new or intimidating things at various points in my life; thus, this quote really struck a chord with me. Though I often was “the best” at many of the pursuits I did undertake, this quote gave me a new view on those triumphs. I often rose to the top through a mix of natural ability and dogged practice, but it frequently seemed as though winning did not take as much effort for me in comparison, and perhaps not nearly as much effort as it should have. In those instances when I played it safe and took the route most likely to lead to “success,” did I really succeed if I did not learn along my way to gathering trophies? What was really gained by avoiding the scary possibility of failure in favor of the safer guaranteed success? Indeed, I now wish that I had stepped outside my comfort zone more often.
Sometimes, it feels as though most outlets for connecting, sharing, and exploring life (i.e. social media, etc.) only receive the bright side of our experiences. Though some people most certainly self-censor in order to maintain an illusion, others likely refrain in the interest of preserving pride or not damaging relationships with others. I don’t know exactly why I have a hard time talking about negative experiences in detail with people, but I also have a much harder time writing about them, even if I’m the only one who will ever read it. Perhaps it’s the idea that if bad experiences and weak moments aren’t down in writing, they aren’t “real.”
Although I am flexible naturally (particularly in my legs), positions such as this take some consistent work to get into comfortably–or as comfortably as as possible, anyway. 😉 I took this photo after coaching a couple Saturday tumbling classes last year, several months before my knee surgeries. I would like to get to this point again, as my oversplits are not this good currently. To do so, I commit to stretching every day (aside from what I get in during coaching) this week to start building that into my daily routine again.
Although I am posting this on a Tuesday rather than Sunday, I am allowing myself to do so (without feeling “guilty” for missing my own deadline) due to the very nature of the quote I am posting. I feel that all too often, we expect perfection from ourselves–and sometimes, without logical reason. This was a wonderful reminder for me that my having areas for improvement does not negate my ability to simultaneously be a masterpiece. Indeed, I plan to enhance my competencies (and…well, those that aren’t competencies yet!) for the duration of my life; is that decision not, in and of itself, the very making of a masterpiece? This week, I plan to use this quote as a reminder to be kind to myself, perfect or not.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Yin to My Yang.”
When I think of what constitutes a “soulmate,” I think of the following quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love:
I won’t say that I embrace the quote in its entirety for my own life (though perhaps that’s my twenty-something-year-old romantic hopes speaking), but I love the idea of a soulmate helping you forge your own best self by fire. I’ve always found it rather unrealistic to think that one will simply bring permanent bliss to your life and help you transform without a certain amount of struggle. Instead, he will “bring you to your own attention so you can change your life…shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.” If I find that, and in the same someone who will lead me to sing just because I’m happy, I will count myself a very lucky woman.
The photo below would probably be really funny if it weren’t so accurate, but I feel like this experience is incredibly relatable for so many women! I know it is for me:
Sometimes, I wonder how men and women ever really make relationships work. Lots of learning, compromising, communication (humph, when we can wrangle that), and diversions/friends/exercise/wine, perhaps. I just feel that we really do speak different languages a lot of the time, and it becomes harder to translate accurately when you really care about someone.
Though it is unusual for me to do so, I have largely kept my silence about the recent events at Mizzou in favor of sorting out my own unresolved feelings. It has been intriguing watching from the sidelines, and an altogether exhausting and anger-inducing experience reflecting on my time as a graduate student at Mizzou, a coach in and resident of Columbia, and an advocate in an atmosphere that is altogether hostile of any person who dares critique the status quo. It was—and still is—incomprehensible to me that so many people are unwilling to even entertain the idea that racial inequality is a problem in Columbia and at the University. Let’s talk for a second about comfortability.
Just thinking about my finances today, I am overwhelmed. From loans for graduate school to the car note (my car was totaled last November when I got rear-ended) to surgery bills to regular old “life” bills, it feels like I don’t even know where to start. After graduate school, I moved back home to help my parents with a lot of much-needed, much-overdue work on their house and yard. I felt they more than deserved that help, and after how miserable I was during my time in Missouri, I just needed to be able to work with my hands and be near people who love me. We’ve made wonderful progress on that on renovations and organization, but it has been a real challenge to my identity. I hadn’t lived at home since high school, and my tendency toward financial independence at a young age and working ridiculous hours had been big parts of who I was.
