12/20/2017
Oh, darling
You can’t fool me long.
No one senses your vibe better
Than a woman who knows
What it feels like
To be cherished by you.
-Sarah Clinton
Tag: Breakups
The Wrong Way to Heal
10/15/18
Running toward you is like
Throwing my heart into the fire
To rid it of the frostbite from my last.
You always told me I’d get burned.
Courage.
9/17/18
Cruelty is
The coward’s response to pain.
Be brave.
-Sarah Clinton
Empathy
9/16/18
The thing about pain this deep
Is that most of your time is spent
Weaving a cocoon to envelope you,
Shield you from concerned eyes while
Your broken body is wracked with sobs.
Alone.
And the rest of it…
Oh, the rest you spend
Thrashing ‘round like a wounded animal,
Locked away,
Unaware of time and space
Or anything but agony.
That’s when you all but beg
The powers that be
To strike you down for your transgressions,
Whether they be borne from malice or
Simply loving too much.
Midnights in May
5/27/18
Sometimes I remember that night.
Rain pouring down around us,
Your kisses hot and wet,
The taste of salt on your lips.
The hood of your brother’s car was
The perfect brace in a pinch.
God, if only you’d understood
How much I loved you then.
If only I’d known it wouldn’t matter.
-Sarah Clinton
Cheers
12/20/17
It’s okay to drink
If wine is all that’s keeping you
From falling to your knees
At the feet of a man
Who is unworthy
Of kissing the ground you walk upon.
-Sarah Clinton
Vapor
February 7, 2018
You are more vapor than gust, now.
The only remnant of your presence
Appears at nightfall
When the world is all but asleep
And the wind carries along a whispered memory
That, when day breaks,
Is shoved aside
Like those old dreams
Of you and I.
-Sarah Clinton
Into the Arms of An Older Man
D. certainly threw me for a loop–both when he appeared and when he unceremoniously left (and then, of course, began doing the very same thing to another woman while lying to me about it, but that’s another story). Despite the short time we’d known each other, his leaving without any acknowledgement or offer of closure hit me harder than perhaps any other dating snafu since my early twenties. I had stopped eating, started drinking, and was pretty much a mess overall.
Repeating Life’s Lessons Until They Are Learned
If there is anything I think I finally, finally need to thoroughly learn this year, it is to stop trusting men I care about more than I trust my own intuition. “Always trust your gut” is an adage I’ve heard probably from the time I could walk, but it’s a lot easier said than done when going with your gut means acknowledging that someone you love, admire, esteem, etc., is lying to you or simply isn’t who you thought they were.
Self-Defense
It was a Makarov IJ-70. Soviet-era, heavy. She’d chosen it for the five-point star on the handle— which reminded her of her home state—and the image it evoked of a war-hardened military commander who, surely, would have fewer second thoughts than was she. She didn’t much want to admit it, but she’d also chosen it for the 16-pound trigger pull. Her brother had told her she could carry it safety-off with no trouble; she just wished she didn’t have to carry it.