11/9
Sometimes I wonder
With what substance
You have drugged me,
Beguiled my senses
and
Overruled my logic.
Is it that crooked smile
I love so much
or
Perhaps the way you
Look at me when
It’s clear that you
Love me too.
-Sarah Clinton
Tag: Learning
Self-Harm
11/6/18
Why do I still fucking
Fantasize about you
When I know
You’re about to tear me apart?
Maybe I’m a masochist.
But maybe I should have
Made that connection when
You clasped a hand
‘Round my throat
On our first date,
Before you even kissed me,
And my knees were
Weaker than I ever cared admit,
Even to you.
Have you seen right through me again?
11/8
I wonder if you know
That I’m terrified
Of what you’ll do
To my heart
Once you’re done
Bewitching the rest of me.
-Sarah Clinton
On One Condition
10/21/18
I’ve never been one for
Throwing caution to the winds,
But boy I’ll love you without abandon.
Just don’t leave me…
-Sarah Clinton
Self-Confidence Sunday #25—Reclaiming My Time (A Work in Progress)
Ask a woman, especially a woman of color, how she felt watching the video of Maxine Waters “reclaiming her time” as U.S. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin tried to dodge her questions with some BS, irrelevant flattery and you’re likely to get responses that include pride and empowerment.
Self-Confidence Sunday #23—Lesson Learned (Hopefully)
Part of the reason I was so broken when it was apparent that D. is not who I had believed was the realization that after all this time, I still had not learned to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt, to stop trusting their words even when their actions suddenly tell a very different story.
But maybe now, that lesson is finally hitting home.
Repeating Life’s Lessons Until They Are Learned
If there is anything I think I finally, finally need to thoroughly learn this year, it is to stop trusting men I care about more than I trust my own intuition. “Always trust your gut” is an adage I’ve heard probably from the time I could walk, but it’s a lot easier said than done when going with your gut means acknowledging that someone you love, admire, esteem, etc., is lying to you or simply isn’t who you thought they were.
Rejoining the Living and Writing
“Write clear and hard about what hurts. Don’t avoid it. It has all the energy. Don’t worry, no one ever died of it. You might cry or laugh, but not die.” —Ernest Hemingway
So the below is from a post I put up on Instagram this week. Typically I don’t post on social media about what’s happening in my “real life,” but I figured someone in a similar position might appreciate the solidarity.
Self-confidence Sunday #13
Although losing him has been hard, today I am reminded of the fact that I can turn this heartbreak into a learning experience and further enrich my worldview, my capacity for empathy, and my understanding of myself. We’ve all been in that place where we thought someone deserved the world and we ultimately ended up rejected, often seemingly out of the blue. It hurts, but it’s an opportunity to take a deeper look into what we want and need out of relationships, what the other person wasn’t giving us that we at first did not acknowledge, where we have room to improve…and where, perhaps, we need to learn to know our own worth and expect more out of the other person. Sometimes, I think we actually get left when we do not expect enough out of our significant others, although that can be a scary thing to do.
Little Moments Matter
A short-ish note to my significant other, though he probably won't ever see it