11/6/18
Why do I still fucking
Fantasize about you
When I know
You’re about to tear me apart?
Maybe I’m a masochist.
But maybe I should have
Made that connection when
You clasped a hand
‘Round my throat
On our first date,
Before you even kissed me,
And my knees were
Weaker than I ever cared admit,
Even to you.
11/9
Tell me, love
Just so I know
How many pieces
Do you plan
To shatter
My heart into?
-Sarah Clinton
11/6
Good God,
Is it really, truly
Time
To start thinking
Of letting you go?
-Sarah Clinton
10/29/18
There are a thousand ways
For me to tell you
I love you.
I simply choose those deemed
Least likely
To reopen the
Gaping, jagged wounds
From your past.
-Sarah Clinton
10/29/2018
For the first time in years,
I caught myself praying.
Not for the Lord to help me
Possess, enchant, or enthrall you,
No.
I did not ask
That you fall hotly, madly, irrevocably
In love with me,
Though I imagine that would
Feel something like a warm rain
Kissing the dry, hard earth
During my favorite spring thunderstorms
July 5, 2018
What a puzzle it is,
The rarity of strength
You claim to be forged by fire
Yet shrink from the smallest of sparks
It is weakness that
Demands submission and subordination,
Fear that you aren’t enough.
Lo and behold,
That’s one of few things you got right.
We both know I’d never choose you
Of my own volition.
Sometimes, strong people overlook how much they have overcome. We forget to praise our own resilience, to cherish the perseverance that bears witness to a lifetime of trial by fire. That, this week, is what I am remembering to love about myself.
I often fail to notice when I am tired or overwhelmed because for so much of my life, I haven’t had the luxury of doing so. That’s something I learned from my parents. I do have that luxury now, however, and self-care (beginning with self-awareness) is starting to emerge as a theme I should carefully integrate into my week.
When I turned 27, one of my challenges to myself was to begin acting on Maya Angelou’s wisdom that, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Key word here being “first.” If you know me well, you know that despite everything, I believe in people. I believe in their goodness, their capacity to change for the better, their ability to achieve anything they put their mind to. Try as I might (and trust me, I have TRIED), I can’t help that—it’s just how I’m wired. That quality is part of what makes me a good coach, a good teammate, a good partner and coworker…but it also means that I don’t walk away from unhealthy relationships, toxic work environments, or generally persnickety felines when I really should.
Why is it that we believe Elegance must be the face of a woman's suffering?
In the digital age especially, we have this idea that pain and heartbreak should be purely internal experiences. "We don't air our dirty laundry," an adage I heard more than once growing up in the South, is an apt summation of the notion that we (meaning anyone "respectable") don't speak of our struggles in the public realm.
#MightyMouseActivities
“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” I may be (very) tired right now, but I am strong and I am a hard worker. Things are coming together, and I hope ***fingers crossed*** that something big is about to happen for me in my career. And if not, I’ll just keep on lifting big people. =)
